Saturday, July 21, 2007

"Sadder still, all identical by default and so ingrained in their genetic make-up. The tragedy for me as mortal is that they cannot change, they must continue to wear the armor they were born with, perform a role already defined.
How both a blessing and a curse At least they know what their role is going to be from life to death...dvh"

Dawn, I find this bit above so very frightening; especially from someone as near enlightened as you; at times I would suspect or have suspected a racist mindset; gestures, things you'd say; not that you are not free to it; as it is you who have to live with it; and against such things we must each manufacture our own insulation and carry our shields or know how to disregard; so certainly you're free to it.

Then again it might not be based upon race at all because what race are you of or do you have or I, apart from the human race to which we all belong.

Maybe it is just good, old delusions of grandeur; imagining yourself, deep down and in your head, to be all a dis; all a dat; while at the same time, in the same breath, assuming others to be lesser mortals.

It cannot be that they are as splendidly made as I, you'd imply. You'd do this it seems, unwittingly. This is when and where, exasperated, abruptly, I used to end the conversation.

Once you e-mailed back after we'd rung off to ask: "What did I do? What did I say?" seeming entirely unaware.

Suggesting what you do regarding ants here, is for me a more extreme fallacy and even bigger nonsense than: "All Chinese look alike" or "All black people look alike" or "All white people look alike".

To imagine that there are no differences in character among ants because you are incapable of observing them, is the very same as ants or some other species imagining that Bahamians or human beings are all the same and are all doing the same routine.

What I do wish to grant you though, is that this latter conclusion might be entirely so, entirely correct only among us, with our different jobs, professions, churches; believers and nonbelievers; nationalities, classes; poverty, wealth; we imagine our differences are vast, are infinitely varied. These might very well all amount to but extremely minor differences. And what you imagine to be the situation among ants might be quite exact for us.

Among ants though, or any other species, maggots, flies, buffalos, termites, bacteria, viruses, mosquitoes, they too have their churches; their Hasties, Hannas, Thynes, Butlers, Smiths; their clashes, their parties, their conflicts.

35 Comments:

Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

I really think you misunderstand what I am saying or I did not express it clearly enough:
Kafka "Metemorphasis" explains what it is like to wake up as an insect.. how would his daily routine alter and how would that change his thinking ect.He, in a nut shell, is questioning existance and purpose. My reference was reflecting the state of Human mechanics, daily routine not a people or a race. After a days work in a factory people go to work perform their duties then return home having satisfied the day...the role is an easy one as if you know what is it you are to perform and there is little need to question one's existance other than the futlity of it...this lack , the centre cannot hold and things will fall appart. We lose the creative and divine act of reason, the spotaneity of imagination.
The Cabalists (Jews) believed in the Micro and Macro..as God and man as one with the universe...not a chain of being but the smallest being the Micro of a wider Universe...That would lnclude the smallest of all God's creation the Microb or Atom .. breathe, light and enregy which is even smaller than insects.
My vulnerabilty is that we as a humanity have become numb to the living experience. Ants do have a hierarchy the rest are workers. The divine calling I was making was to recognize our uniqueness in the Universe for that to me is the greatness of God and ourselves..
to see ourselves as connected to something in each other...to see the ants but not become like them in the metaphor I was refering...I was talking and still refering to us as a collective will which can bring each of us together toward greater enlightenment, as active co- creators with the Universe
...I don't know if this makes any sense but I will risk to send it...It is easy to fall into each other's well but to liberate each other to our full potential to each others divinity for me is divine purpose, to see us equal amounst all living creation but co-creatively inspired by our own actions..I wish to see this happen one day..it is waht I am struglin =g in my poem but I am sorry that I confused your poem to these alien thoughts our=tside of your own..dawn

Saturday, July 21, 2007 7:25:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

ps- spelling Corerections:
1) Apart
2)struggling
3)Outside
I sure there are more but i am getting better...
thanks Obediah I hope this may clarify both my lack of articulation initially and subsequently...dawn

Saturday, July 21, 2007 7:31:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

I'm sorry you suspect that I am being racist..I find that saddest of your comment...As it is my belief that we are all equally branded by such lasjung in a society that refuses to either see or act on its own bigotries..I expressed to you that as a Mullatto in theis community I was absolutely being targeted for that ethnical make-up...can you see view this as also racist and remove any reference in our cutural language...I have a close friend who ecpressed to me that Black people are incapable of racism and he called me racist as well. I am sure there are many issues I am not clear about...I still struggle to remove my ignorance. I lived in both England and Canada and have expressed the subtle racism I experienced and observed there...I came from a multi-racial family..Indian, Jamaican, English, Black Bahamian
Our idiologies are what we argue about not our Colour but there are cultural clashes as there are legimate differences...I suspect what I find is that we never recognize what or who we fully are neither you or I.
I donnot dis reguard anyone but I will go even further than you in the equation...remove the concept of colour completly...let us stop refering to each other as a contrived understanding of man but equal in each other's divinity. I am above some of these things...I try to be sometimes... I speak because I want there to be real dialogue not the consensus of ignorance. I am prepared to alter my opinion when proven wrong...If it is wrong for me to stretch or stay close to only what my community knows then it will kill me as I thank other things that have been presented to me here in the Church, within our schools outside of the rhetoric of our politicians or the diatribe of our Media and more importantly if decisions are being made on behalf of me about the economic direction I want to be informed about the whole process...I truly am saddened you suspected I was a racist ..that does make me feel quite sad...dawn

Saturday, July 21, 2007 8:13:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

SP:
1)do not
2)disregard
3)what
Incidently and I must conclude with this..what I say may be construde as arrogant but what I attempt to do is let the comminity know what is on the horizon for them in a global age. I reject some of my past for personal reasons and even if it means going against what I was taught within my own family if it is incorraging ignorant perceptions than to stay within these concepts that are wrong..It takes courage and belief in yourself to make that decision .many of these are called issues of morality but waht it really des is challenge the Status quo and people including me find that frightening...before I made the decision to say what I am saying I have thought carefully...to be elaborated on if neccessary ..This and from what is left of it still a community I love...however, my loyalty to it does not include pacifying things I believe must happen here at a point of greater tolerance and respect for Democracy and plurism...the Bible says before you remove the moiat from my eyes, remove the bean from your own...this is true for all of us..I chose to use interlectualism tp improve my ste and try to encourage it in others thatis unitl I lose my mind or get Alzheimers...as long is there is breath there is life and hope. I am mortal and was feeling far too human in my dispair...it happens and that should be allowed to..but it brought me cloer to my God who I totally rely upon..it is he who dictates of my faith to follow him and not man...I sure I can understand why man might feel jealous of that...
for those who are tired of this miserable life...know that it will end soon enough but in the mean time...eduction, health care ..freedom of information and free and open debates are your rightful entitlments and those who are keeping that from you are your enemy not me...dawn

Saturday, July 21, 2007 9:05:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

Having read it through after the fact...some more corrections I must articulate.and reemphasize...
" I think other things outside of have been presented to me here in the Church, within our schools outside of the rhetoric of our politicians or the diatribe of our Media and more importantly if decisions are being made on behalf of me about the economic direction I want to be informed about the whole proces...
...eduction, health care ..freedom of information and free and open debates are your rightful entitlments and those who are keeping that from you are your enemy not me...dawn

Saturday, July 21, 2007 9:26:00 PM  
Blogger Obie Quiet said...

Even here and now dawn, you claim multiracialism as some special, unique category, but dearest dawn, multiracial is what we all are; nearer to dusk or dawn or mid-day; but few of us are black or white; and few of us have our ancestors before us to look at. Only our status, our worth must cease to be about these things.

Our contact and exchange exists and is possible, only because of our exposure, our education, our very hard labour with language and in the arts.

This is where it's going to have to be at.

The whiteness or blackness of our mechanic, must ceast to matter. The emphasis must be shifted to who can get our car going and keep it going.

The same concerning our gardener; his or her green thumb is what must matter more than race.

The very same involving our chef, our poet, our professor or priest; our pianist or piano teacher; or our parents.

Efficacious has to be or has to become the word.

I find this phrase interesting: "consensus of ignorance".

It calls to mind A Confederacy of Dunces, a novel, set in New Orleans, written by John Kennedy Toole, published in 1980, more than a decade after the author had passed away.

Saturday, July 21, 2007 9:48:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

My point though I love the discourse is there is a special status for those who look outside the box...I am here ...remove all titles i say because to argue over who is brother or sister or arab or Jew goes against my blood ...i claim diversity because it is good..the world has a problem with it because they cannot find the common enemy to target....you must know the person to really see the person...I will confess I am close to my mother's toung but as she is a Bahamian and I also am one...my father has taught me much...I am privalidged..dawn
what of the Indianess of our uniqueness or the African of our Uniquess or the Gay of our uniqueness or the strait of our uniqueness or the poor of our uniquessnes or the rich of our uniqueness....God shines on all but it is Man's law not God's that puts us there...man's law must be revisited so there is more equality...according to God and I don't think he sees things linearly at al on these things..I am from this black community and these are the people I meet everyday but this is not something i thought as multi-cultuaral at all before people not me wanted to separate as these things...dawn

Saturday, July 21, 2007 10:14:00 PM  
Blogger Obie Quiet said...

Dawn, this as well is a fallacy:

"...those who are keeping that from you are your enemy not me...dawn"

My suggesting that someone has a racist view, mindset or concepts is not - was not to suggest that such a one is my enemy or has any power or is in any way able to withhold power from me.

Fortunately there is a lot of room in the world and in the universe, and a lot of doors. Well, windows I make myself with my words, with essays and usually in thick, blank, prison-like walls.

So what is a racist to me. We eat them and shit them out all our lives until we ourselves have even become them. We've worked at this, like this for several centuries.

It is a racist who needs to seek real power, not me. I have a pen, my words, this language and I'm much too far gone upon liberation's wings to be turned back now; that liberation fought for in the garden, on the cross, in the new world; bequeathed to me; appropriated by me.

It is too hard a fact to be taken back without bloody or inky battle.

Saturday, July 21, 2007 10:15:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

..power is an illusion except on those who need the focus for God's purpose ..it will happen whether one agrees with or not...I have met my emeny and he/she was more holy/divine than I but existed in a systen that was corrupted...I have learned not to judge them so much..the capitalist system in my opinon from the West is based on inequality perhaps it always did yet there are people who I love and that have brought me to a sense of order in my mind to except fate of my origional corruption..see the needs then deal with them, that is all anyone has ever looked for in humanity because we do not need to suffer unnecessarily but in doing so do not create another monster ..that too is filled with history...we must be more clever...but ultimaely God is in control and humilty will ensue...even with me who claims to think she had all the answers...dawn

Saturday, July 21, 2007 10:51:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Saturday, July 21, 2007 11:01:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

here is what I say to you...who is we if not us..it is language that is conveluted in separation of body, soul and spirit ..you used that language I did not but as an ant there are those and there are us ...them..perhaps I am the ant...
"So what is a racist to me. We eat them and shit them out all our lives until we ourselves have even become them. We've worked at this, like this for several centuries. "
...yesd God has irradicated us unto us to see us as ourselves as an humanity...dawn

Saturday, July 21, 2007 11:07:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Saturday, July 21, 2007 11:10:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

peace love and equality and above all no one can fool the creator..and while we are on the subject ..do people comimg to these shores come with their prejusices, some score to settle, some anger they did not resolve that may make me a prejudice of their wrath and are they being supported by the bigots within our society? Do they have a universal point to prove by knocking you or me out..I say again those who withhold informaiton from the Bahamian people are not acting in the best interests of the collective whole but for their own agenda... dawn

Saturday, July 21, 2007 11:27:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Saturday, July 21, 2007 11:42:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Saturday, July 21, 2007 11:49:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Saturday, July 21, 2007 11:54:00 PM  
Blogger Obie Quiet said...

dawnvictoriahanna, I appreciate what you've outpoured here; all quite passionate; not all of it clear; some of it's art and quite delightful.

I thank you for time, effort, for contact and such a passion to share; to make yourself understand even if, oftentimes you are not still enough and attentive enough to comprehend and to apprehend fully before you're preaching your own sermon.

The deep joy of shared, understood exchanges, would be so much more edifying. It would truly be a conversation then.

Maybe more intellect and less emotions, is the shift in the balance that's required; more out of one side of the scale and more in the other.

You remember the old-fashion way; stores we grew up going to in our own inner-city communities? Such a shop with such a scale was home for me; downstairs of this very house I own and occupy at present.

Way off the topic but never mind. It's 3:01 a.m. I've not gone to bed yet and my alarm clock is ringing. I'd set it to wake me at 3 p.m., 12 hours ago.

Sunday, July 22, 2007 3:08:00 AM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Sunday, July 22, 2007 7:57:00 AM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Sunday, July 22, 2007 9:44:00 AM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Sunday, July 22, 2007 1:01:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Sunday, July 22, 2007 1:07:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

Sorry..in exercising my right to delete I deleted some comments which I some how retrieved:
...
let us play in the garden of flowers and names..Rokerfella's, Kenedy's, Gates, and so on who .. live in Lyford Cay, Eleuthra..have more wealth than any of us combined and still we think we are the oppressors...I never earned more than $200.00 a week if that...it is not true of all my family but why does Henry Kissinger think his God is mightier than mine..I do not play on this garden of names ..I look too much like a weed..a name by any other name is just as sweet and a croton is an endangered species but to try to fool the people is a sin..
What is frustrating to me here and what I have every intension of challenging is the complacency of a compromised Middle class who are quite confortable in keeping things the same here simply because it is where there power lies...yes I consider them not ants but rodents (rats) parasites to the system becausem they do not wish it to grow and will litterarly kill someone or smear someone or punish someone for their own benifit...no gradeur on what I say..i have worked hard in my life and when I say something it is either from experience or knowledge...it is the truth
......I know I am a passionate person, we all are here it is part of our genetic make-up. I get overly so when I feel I am being misunderstood or deliberately being put in my place. My initial statement was born out of tiredness and frustration but there was a link to what I was thinking about the poem (foregive my spelling mistakes)
What this has clarified for me is to go on with confidence with my own poem.." The life of a Flea" with greater purpose and make it art ... this clarity was needed in my mind ...i thank you for the space and further challenges toward enlightenment,,,sorry for my sermon.
I do thank you for your patience What for me starts off as an attempt to clarify often turns into a rant...I do often feel impotent but ultimately I must be angry at God as it is his will that i am where I am at the moment..My still youthful impatience sometimes does not understnd that...take care and thank you for the Poem which I love dearly but even more now...dawn

Sunday, July 22, 2007 1:37:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Sunday, July 22, 2007 1:51:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

I did want to say this though Obediah to show that there is some consistancy with what you say and that it follows through for all...next time someine claims their "blackness" or their Haitianess or their Aficaness or Europeaness or what ever my constitutes an identity then i hope you afford them the same non-status you have induced me to believe I shoud have ...it would be fair and appropriate..and not just something I have to respect is exclusive to myself based on this free world we live in...just an after thought...dawn

Sunday, July 22, 2007 3:58:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

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Sunday, July 22, 2007 3:58:00 PM  
Blogger Obie Quiet said...

dawn v.h., these comments here, have multiplied like cancer; your attempt to control and to clean up, is as messy as chemotherapy and has not left me feeling better. I hope, at least, that you feel better.

Sunday, July 22, 2007 9:24:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

I wish you had deleted the first as I regretted sending it...
sorry,
abit like trying to level the uneven legs of a table...a combination of neurosis and techno prroblems..

I was wondering if you gave me that privalidge as I had suggested it earlier. I should have inquired first.

I look to many things for inspriration but often lose faith considering some things in our midst.
I know I come over quite harsh at times and awkard but I have worked hard at what I do and am proud of that fact without apology
..it frustrates me sometimes to gather so much strength to continue in a vaccuum..


Truly, my only critique of what you may have construded in me is that I aften feel the same of you..that deep down there is a superior stance taken and often feel as if I am being looked down upon...

I suspect that often frastrates me as well.

For the record, I do discriminate but I have learned to do this for my own survival..

the only requirements for me likeing antone is that they are kind people ...it doesn't matter who you are...

though I do have some very left wing philosophies which I think is not getting through here in the Bahamas for political reasons. hence me as welll...I
believe in them and will continue to agitate as I feel I am correct in doing so..thanks and sorry for my jazzy display in deletes...dawn

Sunday, July 22, 2007 9:55:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

Sorry Obedaih but to call someone a racist is a very serious thing...to puy oi on your blog invitied reaction..it is messy accusation and I say again this community is full of bigotry which leaves it imploding on itself..I call you you to see yourself within this spectrim colour to hear when you do not see what is implied and excepted here for all and every...silence in bigotry is dangerous in its complicity allows such violations I received leading up to and during thislast election when certain members from our community felt they could vilolate not only my rights but also the Constitutonal rights of this Land....It was subtly a racist act by its nature ...I wish you could be so outraged at that...or better yet face some of these issues you accuse me of yourself...dawn

Sunday, July 22, 2007 10:42:00 PM  
Blogger Obie Quiet said...

enough! thanks! I really do appreciate your sweat and blood and tears. You are a very giving soul or are we both, broken and leaking, like cracked clay pots? I have so many other posts to be commented on but with focus and objectivity. Here it seems, I opened a can of worms. I need to close it; though, as I recall, it was a can full of ants; it was about insects, remember? We are only 28 comments away from the forgotten, original subject.

Monday, July 23, 2007 12:55:00 AM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

I ask you though Obediah to please delete these posts and my comments from the fisrt to the last as the initial reaction to your poem was born out of fatigue...I had just come form seeing a friend who is on death row....I am so sorry that I have bled in our poem and on your posts but I ws feeling quite exhausted and numb...thanks and deepest apologies...dawn

Monday, July 23, 2007 9:46:00 AM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

Well after your lst email...I agree leave it as is as I do not regret anything I have said just wished I had shown the better judgement not to get so carried away in the moment...again I must say I did believe that you had given me that right to delete as it presented to me after our communication...I do regret this intrusion. I shall refrain from any future comments...I can understand your annoyance as equally I hope you can appeciate your comment about my superior attitude to the lower species...which you have obviously been observing in me and suspecting all along...How enlightening...dawn

Monday, July 23, 2007 12:13:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

My mode for understanding is perfectly fine and so is my language..what you don't like is that you can't control what it is I say like some puppet in a ring of a puppet master..I asked you to excuse my inital comment as I was stressed. My fatigue was born out of seeing a friend who I have know for a long time and whose situation I felt impotent to help with...You could not let it be that a a point of my human frailty..my reference to your poem was one of feeling that sense of lack of caring for all which was happening around me in the Bahamas as it all appears too much. You instesd seemed as if you wanted to put me in my place as usual...I resent your superior stance regarding me or my language as it does not belong to you..we are lazy in the Bahamas as we wish for people to speak and think for us..our interlectuals, leaders and artists rely on this so that they are able to persue their own insideous agendas..
To talk about anyone's Identity (black or otherwise) with a filter is not only insulting it is dangerous..I demand greater spacifics from those I speak with.
I agree there is such a thing as racism and attutudes of superiority over the ignorant masses but please be prepared to see it in yourself, by those who are paraded before me. I believe in presenting people with the facts, all of them and a logical conclusion to be reached from that...full comprehension requires the entire picture not this vague stuff we are so satisfied with here..when I attempt to do this you accuse me of trying to dislodge your position but I would have imaginged that your position was reached by knowing the whole not just half truths.. I annoy people because I insist on this as a starter to any discussion. Life is more than an opinilon..it takes research of a subject, proper evaluation not just what we think to be the case..I don't care who you are but if you come to me with shit I will let you know...we have a society that is confused here and I place the blame on our so called interlectuals who like an idea and put it into motion without knowing what the consequence of their acions will be...these people seem to be the ones who are always in the position of power and they in my eyes must be dislogded and removed for their lack of comprehension and interlectual dishonesty..we have many...dawn

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 7:32:00 AM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

I will say this too and without regret for those who come to this land and feel entittled to preach against me as a Bahamian or about my Country.... having lived or had substancial contact with where most of them live...if they tired of this miserable life they gettin' here then carry their so and so back to where they come from because alot just seem to be here for a larger bank account and I don't mind telling that to them either..dawn and peace

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 7:40:00 AM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

Obediah,
as promised after speaking with you I must be fair to what your crique is of me...yes, I do not listen properly and subsequently often end up super-imposing on someone an intent that is not there..I must take this as a serious criticsm as it has often come up by others both home and abroad...having said that there are things that I feel strongly about and often can not close my eyes to... often at the detriment to my art.....I must learn to put it in my art but I find I there are other things I wish to talk about in my art. I love the fact that you have such control and focus and envy that ...It is the way foreward and I cannot fault you for what I believe to be the right way...I imagine however that we occassionally are being spoon fed information...if there was proper debate or consensus building , we would not have so many problems here...I too have a niche which provides some armer but I think even within our protection there must be other debates that take place and that too has to do with civil liberties...I respect you Obediah and hear your frustrations about encoutering some of my views and my lack of control but to suggest that I am assuming ignorance is wrong...but if we are to take it literally it means lack of information and not uncooth behavior..no crime in that unless one places it on those who are keeping back this from those who did not have it...I assure you I do not believe my attitude is so ignoble but try to highlight illiberal mindsets which I believe as unprogressive ...dawn

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 12:08:00 PM  
Blogger dawnvictoriahanna said...

Obediah,
as promised after speaking with you I must be fair to what your crique is of me...yes, I do not listen properly and subsequently often end up super-imposing on someone an intent that is not there..I must take this as a serious criticsm as it has often come up by others both home and abroad...having said that there are things that I feel strongly about and often can not close my eyes to... often at the detriment to my art.....I must learn to put it in my art but I find I there are other things I wish to talk about in my art. I love the fact that you have such control and focus and envy that ...It is the way foreward and I cannot fault you for what I believe to be the right way...I imagine however that we occassionally are being spoon fed information...if there was proper debate or consensus building , we would not have so many problems here...I too have a niche which provides some armer but I think even within our protection there must be other debates that take place and that too has to do with civil liberties...I respect you Obediah and hear your frustrations about encoutering some of my views and my lack of control but to suggest that I am assuming ignorance is wrong...but if we are to take it literally it means lack of information and not uncooth behavior..no crime in that unless one places it on those who are keeping back this from those who did not have it...I assure you I do not believe my attitude is so ignoble but try to highlight illiberal mindsets which I believe as unprogressive ...dawn

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 12:08:00 PM  

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