Bar Maid
of Shanel
slim for him, for Jim
upper body skinny, in a man's formal shirt
her hips protrude in her black skirt
lovely, fleshy, strong legs
longed for legs like these,
for someone dark, pretty
inexpensive as beer in a bar in the early morning
artificial nails on the hands of a queen,
needing nothing false or altered
priceless as she is, as she appears
like tide washing beach continually
nothing cheap about what is washed up
what the tide leaves
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2000
1:49 p.m. 26/march/00
of Shanel
slim for him, for Jim
upper body skinny, in a man's formal shirt
her hips protrude in her black skirt
lovely, fleshy, strong legs
longed for legs like these,
for someone dark, pretty
inexpensive as beer in a bar in the early morning
artificial nails on the hands of a queen,
needing nothing false or altered
priceless as she is, as she appears
like tide washing beach continually
nothing cheap about what is washed up
what the tide leaves
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2000
1:49 p.m. 26/march/00
posted by Obie Quiet at 2:42 AM
3 Comments:
There are times when one can only comment: lovely. Great imagery!
I fear that I too saw such a barmaid; she was like 8 scoops of my favorite icecream: too much of a good thing, ultimately just a waste.
A Taste
she was 8 scoops of my favorite ice-cream
too much of a good thing, ultimately just a waste
Cecil, this most certainly is a very fine, very short poem, unlike your poetry normally and more like what the Japanese and I aim at, aim for. I suggest you claim it and keep it, use it and be guided to make more like it, as you too have a gift for brevity and the cinematographer’s clarity.
Thank you Obie,
I shall cut and paste it and add it to my own blog: canewry.blog.com.
I have been experimenting of late, writing all my responses/thoughts in verse. My goal is to have my responses/simple comments bigger than myself. I hope I am successful.
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