In A Fix
for Marion & Mia

y’all hafta ask mom what she do
cus I’een know

even doo sh'een here no more
and daddy een here no more
an he mussie help do it too

but dey fix me up
dey fix me good
or someone mussie did fix me
and dey unfix me

what dey do fur me, do ta me
der whole nation need

I was mess up, I was crazy
smoking marijuana

day after day, up in a tree
like I was a bird on a limb

I had abandon ambition
der road I was on
I was goin no where

whatever vegetatin is, I was doin it
getting high, marinatin
day in, day out, as angry as could be

I was self-destructin, unravelin
becomin undone
not whole, no one to hold

marijuana cigarette to hold onto
and a pen, fortunately
but I was goin under, sinkin fas

until whatever mom and daddy do
to fix or to unfix me
to bind or to unbind me

but they gave me back to me
restored me

I had thrown my heart away
I’d dropped it

without it, did not want to live
could not live

but they gave me back to me
took me from the witch of love
wick of life, they lit again

though they both died, I’m living still
gave life once, gave life once again

light, enough for me now
feast for me now

marijuana, drink and smoke and such
would leave me empty, make me ill
I’ll not turn back time
end again in such hands

not after this gift of restoration
of freedom

I depend upon my pen
upon the ink inside

intoxicated by this, by these
by leaves of books

by leaves of trees, falling,
swirling


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2008
3:11 p.m. 13.02.08