Intoxicating Air
for Leslie & Stephen Saiz

what I’d done and was guilty of
I’d fallen in love
just tripped and fell

looking where I was going
or going where
I should not have been going

eyes which had been expressionless,
alive and responsive

without words, communicating
or with facial expressions saying
so much more or so much in addition
to words exchanged

lily-colored almost, surprisingly warm

other color, other race
someone from elsewhere
so familiar and so very near

something in an instant tripped my heart up

tongue-tied, I attempt to loose it now,
to be lucid now, to give mystery words
to myself understand what befell me, why

what an instant ushered into, in through
their hotel bedroom to the bathroom

she, as white as could be,
her long, black hair, undone, relaxing,
sitting upon their bed, too much to bear

I as if drunk, stumbled, almost fell
grabbed for the door like a straw
splinter from its edge, through my hand

husband, trusting, so very kind,
I, with his wife, fallen in love,
now falling down actually, stumbling, guilty

like going and coming along one same track
crashed into myself head on,
almost collapsed, almost cracked

how painful it was, splinter injury, injure me
as if the need to step up were a trick, a trap
set to undo me

embarrassing, humiliating moment
how love is able to work against us

empathetic, she offered me band-aid
I chose to keep instead of use

as much a souvenir as what I’ve written here


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2008
2:58 a.m. 17.11.08