Surplus or Deficit

how subtle the shifts
of feeling I’m ahead or I’m behind

needing to catch up with life
or that I’d gone or gotten ahead

in the red or in the black as it were
a shift as subtle as breeze or no breeze

though at times, far behind and desperate,
frantic to catch up
not often so very far ahead

aroused when I feel I am ahead
usually able to have an erection then

aroused then, I masturbate
to my heart’s content
oftentimes for hours

if or when I come, I feel I’ve slipped into
or fallen into a hole I need to climb out of

or if this exercise, overextended,
results in lower abdominal pains

quite delicious though
when I am in step with life, abreast of life

plus or minus a few inches
or a few minutes


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2009
12:40 a.m. 04.01.09