Meditated Up
for M.M.

sex is to be entangled in a knot, to make a knot of two bodies
so you'd rather not make, not be part of such a knot

I know too how tight it can get, how it can restrict and constrict
a noose is another knot

I'd rather knot, you'd rather not
what a knot we are already, what a not

breeze blows, rain falls, sun up and sun down
and sorace grows and love vine grows

how will we, where will we grow or go
when will we know or should we not mind or worry

I know I am no longer pretty, a life twisted a while back
an arm wrung like a sheet to free it of water
before it is hung up, hung out, outstretched to dry, to drip

any way to un-wring a life that has been wrung, twisted the wrong way
twisted up all by myself, all by yourself or are you not

do I find me attractive, do you find you attractive, clothes off, truth be told
or jaded now, fading now, disenchanted now

Eros not at all what you thought it was or thought it would deliver
happiness not necessarily a gift it shows up with

what fear I have of one terminal illness of another, sick and having to live with it

I rejoice for internal sunny days, pain free and without fear
thrilled with life and filled with life

to have these to myself, sufficient
and those accidental moments of encounter
lasting briefly, lasting eternally

when I enter euphoria with someone, invoked by a gesture
someone, some moment opening up to receive me, opening mutually

miracles such as these I live for now, these were all we ever had or ever will
I know that now

I wish I had oranges to peel or to knife into four parts, suck the juice out
is pussy as full of sunshine, as good to eat

woman moaning, Mona moaning while you, doubting, ate her
wondering if it's healthy, kosher, if it's FDA approved
intimacy and what thoughts afterwards fill the mind

want to make a quilt of you and me, of all the pieces we make of each other
when we face each other, when we turn our backs


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2009
12:07 p.m. 25.10.09