Knitting Needles
for Antoinette G. Penha

I cry about us
about what God has given us

happy that he has
unhappy about a lack of means

linked us has he
without means
without resources necessary
to make one of us

like a child's toy
received for Christmas,
in two,
needing to be mended

cried and prayed
wanting what's strained between us
what stands between us
to be moved

two parts of a thing, of a toy,
in two hands
turn it this way, that way
to see where or how or if it lines up

is when also a part of it
unable to fit together,
to come together until it's time,
until, a hah

need hands, invisible to me,
invisible to all the world
to cover mine and fit this thing
this toy's two parts together

would cry then too
instead of frustrated, cry for joy

she'd cry too for sure
to know and to see me convinced
that nothing in all this world
could keep apart whom God has joined
or would have joined

date to marry, set already
I, worried about income
about where we'd live

here in the cold, cold water to wash
face with, hands in
or whatever other body part
I dare to wet while winter lasts

unwilling to subject her to this

fear I might be ill
in some severe way or other
without a doctor readily to run to

without required funds for such a visit
and on and on
why I cannot be or might not be fit

but what if she is my other half
and only then can I really breathe
only then can my heart finally beat
as it should beat

overcome, I cry for us, cry to God
to make possible what seems impossible
to be married after all these years

how is it, why is it
that she believes in us, in me, a mystery

must not insult what is holy
her belief and love
assault what is or seems
too good, too true

certainly this world can conspire
to make possible,
to put together, keep together,
two people with hearts
as pure as rain, as pure as tears
shed today

our tears are the prayers we pray
we are tiny, God is great

we ask only to be, with knitting needles
hooked together forever

somewhere lost
in the great big pattern a sweater is
or something else warm to wear
once we are arm in arm
2:26 p.m.
veundredi
05.03.10