Jacob’s Ladder
for D.B.A.

i.
just a ride you're going for
you're going on
when you get on board a woman

expect it to burn out soon
like getting on a falling star

fall like this when you fall in love
fall in love and continue to fall

until star you are riding
ride upon fire,
plummets to its dark address
place Plath knew well

is such a ride, tragic as it is
as it ends, such a fall
a luxury after all

ii.
not as genuine as I thought she was
what I thought we had, we hadn't

what I thought we were
we were not, we are not

gesture of dropping by,
of happening by
she wanted to insist
meant nothing at all

had to drain it of blood completely
like some meat of other
she was preparing for dinner
washing with water, with vinegar

what used to be prepared like this
I am unable to recall

down stairs of this house I'm in
kitchen actually beneath this room
I’m sitting in
upon my bed, upon the floor

was it chicken, was it mutton
was it fish

but fish was for Friday
never on Sunday

Saturday, just before nightfall
soldier that she is

unrelenting
when in pursuit of something
when it comes to fulfilling a promise

said she'd come by and she did
visit drained of meaning

she would make certain
it signified nothing

wish I were the peanuts
she went away with, in a tin
in a bag beneath her arm

peanuts she delights
in peeling tops from
without hesitating
and dipping in and eating

greedy for peanuts
wish she were as greedy for me

even if to be burped out after
even if I were to end up
in the smell of her flatulence
even though I ended up
a part of her feces

would have been better
than apart, better than
our relationship possibly
being over and done with

I had a school girl
I was once in love with

fell in, was in deep
will mercy fling me a rope
let down a ladder

O'Keeffe painted Jacob's ladder
wish I had that hanging
somewhere to inspire me

faced with having to climb

all the way to the moon
where I left my back pack

iii.
no warbler noises
only insisting upon going
upon getting home

how did she learn to drive
and when, I wonder
and who taught her

I taught my two daughters
younger daughter
acquiring her license
one day after her 17th birthday

one day after she acquired
her permit to learn


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2010
Written on Sunday, April 25, 2010
between 6:10 a.m. and 11:56 a.m.