Emancipation Day
for G.M. & D.B.A.
i.
not going to attempt to fit into her mentality
or fit into her culturally or socially
torture for her, torture for me
wait for her to come around, to come along
like a bus
when it does, no place to sit, no place for me
unable to breathe
get off, it's time, past time, overdue to disembark
no pass time if tortured, in too small mind,
in too small space
in too small place
must get off to go on, to grow
unless she can grow up in an instant
no time in this life left for her demeaning ways
for demeaning days
for her to make mess of mango juice
for her to place above you what is less by far
who is less by far, worth less by far
for her to value what is gold, ten times
beneath what is not gold yet
like water, love also finds its level
she has found hers, I must find mine
my God, I know so many beautiful people
so many beautiful women,
I have so many beautiful friends
all around the world
why must I subject myself to torture
on this tiny island, in this tiny nation
why must I try to shove my cock in a thimble
am I a masochist, am I sadistic
I must shed her like a snake sheds skin
when it's done with it
however beautiful was the pattern upon it
another coat underneath, under it
to show the world, to face the world with
to face the world in
without Dee, most likely,
I'll suffer a little, suffer a bit
might suffer a lot but I won't be bare
I must from here begin to recover
enough of put down and let down and let out
want to be let in, to be precious, to be cherished
not treated like shit
stuff I am made of, not meant for the drain
row row row your boat, gently down the stream
merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream
or must I wake up, make coffee
ii.
oh how merciful is our Maker
giving up on love on one hand and love rescues me
one unable to love me because too young
who I thought unable to love me
because she is married, because of two daughters
able to love me very well
makes room in her heart, in her soul, in her life
for the size that I am, for the shape that I am
to keep my cock from her two open- too open thighs
other woman I love, other woman I thought I had
and thought I knew, unable to differentiate
push away, push off what she does not want
along with what she wants, values and loves
without skills required
to know how, who and what to reject
and what to embrace in this small place
place of geographic- of geological fragments
country unable to come together or get together
bunch of rocks and keys,
at times rocks, at times knocks
unprepared any longer, any more
to be shit when I am gold
friend I love, who loves me, affirms this fact
with every breath, with every word she utters
how mean tiny can be, tiny candy
taste life, spit, when it is otherwise sweet
air in Peru, washed clean by rain
when it is sunny, there is snow on the mountains
these rocks are not all I own, not all I belong to
fuck if I do not fit in, I have wings, I can fly
defy identity, clothes that don't fit
when it's time for egg to hatch, shell must crack
out of this love affair, I must fly
not going to hang around and possibly fry
end in an omelet or sunny-side-up
on the plate of some jack ass
she eats pork and I don't
she wears wigs to cover up what
what wrong, asks Eliot, does the bird song cover
Oh, how I long, oh God, to recover from what
was calling itself love
I have love I can run to and cling to
it has welcoming arms
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2010
Written between 9:15 a.m. & 10:11 a.m.
on August Monday, August 2, 2010.
for G.M. & D.B.A.
i.
not going to attempt to fit into her mentality
or fit into her culturally or socially
torture for her, torture for me
wait for her to come around, to come along
like a bus
when it does, no place to sit, no place for me
unable to breathe
get off, it's time, past time, overdue to disembark
no pass time if tortured, in too small mind,
in too small space
in too small place
must get off to go on, to grow
unless she can grow up in an instant
no time in this life left for her demeaning ways
for demeaning days
for her to make mess of mango juice
for her to place above you what is less by far
who is less by far, worth less by far
for her to value what is gold, ten times
beneath what is not gold yet
like water, love also finds its level
she has found hers, I must find mine
my God, I know so many beautiful people
so many beautiful women,
I have so many beautiful friends
all around the world
why must I subject myself to torture
on this tiny island, in this tiny nation
why must I try to shove my cock in a thimble
am I a masochist, am I sadistic
I must shed her like a snake sheds skin
when it's done with it
however beautiful was the pattern upon it
another coat underneath, under it
to show the world, to face the world with
to face the world in
without Dee, most likely,
I'll suffer a little, suffer a bit
might suffer a lot but I won't be bare
I must from here begin to recover
enough of put down and let down and let out
want to be let in, to be precious, to be cherished
not treated like shit
stuff I am made of, not meant for the drain
row row row your boat, gently down the stream
merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream
or must I wake up, make coffee
ii.
oh how merciful is our Maker
giving up on love on one hand and love rescues me
one unable to love me because too young
who I thought unable to love me
because she is married, because of two daughters
able to love me very well
makes room in her heart, in her soul, in her life
for the size that I am, for the shape that I am
to keep my cock from her two open- too open thighs
other woman I love, other woman I thought I had
and thought I knew, unable to differentiate
push away, push off what she does not want
along with what she wants, values and loves
without skills required
to know how, who and what to reject
and what to embrace in this small place
place of geographic- of geological fragments
country unable to come together or get together
bunch of rocks and keys,
at times rocks, at times knocks
unprepared any longer, any more
to be shit when I am gold
friend I love, who loves me, affirms this fact
with every breath, with every word she utters
how mean tiny can be, tiny candy
taste life, spit, when it is otherwise sweet
air in Peru, washed clean by rain
when it is sunny, there is snow on the mountains
these rocks are not all I own, not all I belong to
fuck if I do not fit in, I have wings, I can fly
defy identity, clothes that don't fit
when it's time for egg to hatch, shell must crack
out of this love affair, I must fly
not going to hang around and possibly fry
end in an omelet or sunny-side-up
on the plate of some jack ass
she eats pork and I don't
she wears wigs to cover up what
what wrong, asks Eliot, does the bird song cover
Oh, how I long, oh God, to recover from what
was calling itself love
I have love I can run to and cling to
it has welcoming arms
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2010
Written between 9:15 a.m. & 10:11 a.m.
on August Monday, August 2, 2010.
posted by Obie Quiet at 12:52 PM
3 Comments:
Gail Sheehy said "Creativity can be described as letting go of certainties" I aint as biggity as I seem. Imagination and creativity can be dangerous for the conventionalist like me.
e'en in your sorrow about love lost...you shine on line a shining star in a dark dark night...you knight of sorrow..this is a fine fine work my friend...muse must return at once to this now flying eagle...
Dee, I could say cynically in response to: "I aint as biggity as I seem." you cudder fool me! What I'd say instead is, how very much I appreciate your very carefully considered response, coupled with precious time devoted as well as sacrificed, to read closely and to respond.
Esquire, how very much I like your "knight of sorrow". I had not recognized the pun and profundity of this initially. I thank you very much. How wonderful for you to visit after such a long time away. We used to be inseparable.
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