Saturday, November 20, 2010

Arms around the Moon
for S.F. & D.B.A.

i.
wait around
for her inadequate responses
for her small girl responses

couldn't respond appropriately,
adequately, even if she wanted to
desired to, tried to

in addition to or on top of
being unable to
she has always resisted

turned me off
after she'd have turned me on

shifting into reverse
just as the vehicle we were in
had accelerated,
was going swiftly forward

silly me, baring heart and soul
in poems I wrote, in notes to myself
always shared with her,
was no way to win her

nothing I did not tell her
of all I had ever done, of anyone significant
I have ever been with

she on the other hand
kept her secrets to herself
what she did not want told
what she did not wish to tell
what she did not wish to spill or to spell out

oh what has all that we have shared
all that I have given, added up to
no more than words left in print or left to print,
a million or two million or more

ii.
winding this up or winding this down
this broken watch of a relationship
this broken ship of a relationship
for dry dock or to take out to sea, set fire to,
let sink

sink pen in ink, as poets of old used to,
had to

used to sink my pen in her, in her liquor
poems for her pussy lick, for her pussy lips

now what am I left with
panties purchased for her, present for her,
to present to her,
in my backpack

is the gap between us
closing or widening
are her thighs closing or coming apart

getting to know each other better
as time passes, is added to, is added on

I so los' I know not where to turn
or what to do

intense fire beneath the pot
we were cooking, necessary,
according to her, to turn down

damper to insert also,
so peas and rice won't burn

or is it too late already
and what we were cooking up
has to be thrown out

for cat and mouse, owl and rat
pot cake and raccoon to fight over

to try to settle the score of love
our unfortunate love affair, run amok
gone haywire

I was expecting what I expect of Delta
a smooth take off, expecting it to land soft

instead, what a rocky flight
what a rocky fight this is

iii.
SF, I need to turn to you
I wish that I were able to

who on earth as close, as near
to share my tears with
to show where I am torn

paper love affair that I was in
and I am ripped

riff between that girl and me
your friend and mine

she and I, adrift, I do not know
if together or apart

able to locate you, to trust
where you say you are
though in London, far away

this girl
I thought I was going with
here on New Providence,
no providence for me

how unstable,
raft we two were standing on

it rocks, shakes, this way,
that way and in the water,
wet, time and time again

know what I am watching
wishing you were near

"Henry and June,"
of Henry Miller and Anaïs Nin

what do you think of this idea
abnormal pleasures
kill the taste for normal ones

silly me, dreaming of love
of a lover far away

what futility I, without end,
or we without end

heap upon our plates
at the banquet of love
we wish life was, we think life is

I always did want to drink/a drink
of your milk-white skin

against it, how black must appear,
hair growing where
your secret's kept,
where your secret is or blond hair
and blond there

bees' wax for your back
want to kiss you here and there
lick you in and lick you out
lick you up and lick you down

all over, over and over, kiss you
roll you over and over in love flour
in love petals, in love flowers


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2010
Written on Saturday,
November 20, 2010,
Between 11:45 a.m. and 3:35 p.m.

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