Intimacy Still Able to Spill
for D.B.A.
1
do you close as tight as this container
made of plastic, you brought me salad in
this is not for you, you said, this is for us two
how was such a visit, such an event ruined
we just came apart like hands in hell
dismantling us, dismantling love
how though could hell have had the upper hand
or seem to have had
while heaven was matching us up so well
a match though that you yourself resist
not wanting us to be lovers but to be friends
but though we do not- have not yet
gotten into bed, we do, without end, copulate
on levels she herself is shy of
so there is heaven and its intentions
hell with its intentions and her and me
on earth, coming together and coming apart
as we have been, as we often are
oh about this salad container
with its black bottom, with its clear, plastic top
rescued from a plastic, garbage bag
from a doorknob, hanging
washed it up to preserve memory in
I had had half of a tomato in it, in the refrigerator
amazed, just now, to find how tight it closes
thought of you and of your nature
about which I know nothing
intimate as we are
2
at least it was her with her stormy face
with whom I went, in whom I came
and not some other female
thought I was past her, over her,
done with her, only to find no one
this morning, able to arouse me
to the degree that she could or was able to
surprise to find such intense stimulation
what I thought had passed, back again
or never left
my love for her, her love for me, lurking,
lingering
all her outfits, pictures in tight shorts,
in short dress
in some outfits, in some shots,
a lot of breast exposed
she stimulates me or did this morning
like no one could,
like no other pictures observed
calling out her name, kissing her pussy
kissing moist lips on my computer screen
carried away like that/like this
carried away I was, like rediscovering her
absence and it seems
my heart has grown fonder
hard-on, hard and long, lasted long
lasted until I ejaculated
dish washing liquid, Pine-Sol and rag,
which was once an underpants,
to clean what I came, up off the carpet
up when I should have been
sleeping, napping,
with all that I have
upon my plate to accomplish
3
we are nothing now
we were something once
how did it come to this
come down to this
from what we had
from where we were
how did we- why did we-
when and where did we disconnect
she cannot be happy or complete
with me so empty
when did I decide to divide
decide that she was so imperfect
when did she decide that I wouldn't do
when we were perfect, we were unaware
hindsight and I'm hollering, howling
in pain, unable to bear
how detached
we've become
how reckless we are
with what we are or were
with what we have or had
would smash without a second thought
what we expect to maintain whole
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2011
Written between 11:15 p.m., on Sunday,
April 17 and 2:04 a.m., on Monday,
April 25, 2011
Puffs of White Smoke
for D.B.A.
1
unable to see
I'm able to see
must run to the right window
the window nearest the street
black mini-blinds to part
with fingers I'd been eating with
woman glimpsed, passing
not enough to satisfy
just enough to trigger desire
to fire want, attired in something to entice
something white and tight
and trimmed in red
two windows and I am unable
to see her clearly
with the building next door going up
its belt course poured
and how my view of who passes by
is limited, is reduced
cut back from what and from how it was once
my windows were wider then and so was time
allowed glimpses,
ticking of my heart, speeding up
ticking fast, feet of some woman or another
attired hot, going by
pull at, pluck at a poet's heart strings
vicious, aggressive enough
to pop a string or two of harp or heart
when, oh, God,
will my heart string appear, come along
to play me, to make music
unlike what starts and breaks off
starts and breaks off
2
I know you, you know me
do not pretend that we do not
why you and I are tied together
as we are is not to be revoked
is not to be taken lightly
I have no wish to revoke
your importance in my life
or to replace you
you are queen of my life
you are my princess
do not desire, do not wish
to dethrone you
or to disown you
however much you do humiliate
or have humiliated me,
I am yours to misuse and to abuse
I know you will be merciful
I pray God that you will be
I'll suffer what I must until you are
I used to walk upon my father
when I was a small child
with small feet
I used to because of his Arthritis
we used to piss and spit,
shit and throw up upon our mothers
and not offend
similarly, you do not or should not
offend me with these acts
and if and when you do,
I am able, soon after, to pardon you
3
this love is as much a gift for me
as it is for you
what you are given, I am given too
tied together by it, by this
whatever this gift gives or takes away
in the name of love, what all
am I prepared to have torn from me
possessions, clothes, skin,
sins stripped away, whatever it takes
for love's sake, for closeness
for close-knit, for clothes knitted
to cover our nakedness
clothes crocheted
for this occasion or that
clothes to drop to the floor
when alone on a June evening
after 24 months of our relationship
what will we be then and how
time off from each other, to reflect
and to more deeply connect
the pope, newly crowned, looks down
into Basilica Square, upon the thousands
gathered there and he is humbled
as I am by this gift, by this opportunity
to know joy and sorrow for the sake of love
for knowing it, for knowing you
opportunity of opportunities
to open a heart, to open two
to see what, in addition
to blood, hearts contain
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2011
Written on Holy Saturday,
April 23, 2011 between
6:40 p.m. and 8:52 p.m.
Pissed On Pissed Off
for D.B.A. & T.L.C.
1
mistreats me, misunderstands me
when I'm innocent of everything
but trying to stay alive
but avoiding dying of boredom
want to be as close to a girl
as I can possibly be
my dick head, so much like
her vaginal lining
made to slide, to glide up in
and out of this passage
without abrasion
this I suppose I do desire
my smooth dick head
with its pink skin
soft soft soft and hard hard hard
to open her anus
ease it in her, open her up
in spite of the fact that she
would not let me near her
I'm unable to touch her
she would not let me
fear of how far I might go
fear she'd let me,
fear she’d want it, want me
so she must go to extremes
punish herself, punish me
refusal, rejection, too extreme
because I am able,
willing to drink her pee
too close to her, to achievement
to be allowed
to drink through one straw
eat with one fork
she is afraid of how
intellectually intimate we are
of how integrated we are
in the poems I've written
in my poems of her
in this one I am writing
the last word of
2
just let her go back into the sea
like the inedible fish that she is
pulling in all of this time
what should never have been
on the end of my line
fish I can't boil or stew or fry
what's poison
on the end of my line
fish what can't fry, what can't fly
flying fish on my line
and I could fly away from her
dragging me down
bringing me down
clown fish, no fun, not funny
with it on my line,
I cry all the time
3
fuck her, I could fuck her
ease this erection
I've had for her for ages
sheath for my sword
to shove it in, in which it fits
made for it
drawn like it has been
all these years
without putting it down
without putting it away
in rain, in sunlight
moon and stars
reflecting off it
hitting it,
bouncing off
drawn, extended
in weather changing
affecting it,
year in, year out
in for a change, for a time
she can swallow me up
swallow me down
contain from tip
to its grip in my fist
female for male
woman for man
woman she is
man that I am
pissed off with whom
she should be
able to withstand
whatever the depth
of desire or ire
crossing swords
like a couple of men
I am man, she my woman
made for piece, for peace
for love, for loving
4
you need to be screwed
into place in my life
like a light bulb
like pieces of wood
a screw passing through
merciless with me
merciless with you
strange that love
should inspire
not caring if you hurt
or if I did
pain in love and life
what a place it has
unable to get over it
around it, under it
unable to pass it by
must pass through it
my dick, your pussy
no longer a kitty
with twine in a ball
cannon ball
for you to play with
to pay with
war to end and to start
where your legs part
what have I but dick
to insert, to insist you take
into your fiercely beating heart
after this
we'll never part
dick to part you with
path to trod, Holy Week,
cross to carry, tomb to visit
Easter coming
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2011
Written between 1:45 p.m.
and 3:21 p.m. on Monday,
April 18, 2011
Up Side Down On Dry Dock
for D.B.A.
I reject second base
second place, second best
as she is well aware
attempt all she can, when she can
to keep apart, two hearts, two parts
two players, attached to her tail
tale of two lives, tale of our lives
I without end, telling, relating
versifying, testifying
for better or worse
winners and losers
left upon sidelines, shorelines
upon the scrap heap of history
scraping out plates
scraping off paint
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2011
12:58 a.m. 03.04.11
Cock Crow Rooster Rise
i.
I am ripe, I am ready
I am spoiling on the vine
it's past time
come pick me
come eat me
I am your water melon
aren't you hungry
aren't you thirsty
I am horny you know you are
ii
why is she wearing
more than just hair
more than the length and weight of her locks
such a photo shoot for Penthouse or Oui
this one in swimsuit, in pink, two-piece
fit for Sports Illustrated
one of them or two of them
I have never seen surpassed
by any woman anywhere
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2011
written on Saturday, April 2, 2011
between 2:55 p.m. and 3:15 p.m.