Puffs of White Smoke
for D.B.A.

1
unable to see
I'm able to see
must run to the right window
the window nearest the street

black mini-blinds to part
with fingers I'd been eating with

woman glimpsed, passing
not enough to satisfy
just enough to trigger desire
to fire want, attired in something to entice
something white and tight
and trimmed in red

two windows and I am unable
to see her clearly
with the building next door going up
its belt course poured
and how my view of who passes by
is limited, is reduced

cut back from what and from how it was once
my windows were wider then and so was time

allowed glimpses,
ticking of my heart, speeding up
ticking fast, feet of some woman or another
attired hot, going by

pull at, pluck at a poet's heart strings
vicious, aggressive enough
to pop a string or two of harp or heart

when, oh, God,
will my heart string appear, come along
to play me, to make music

unlike what starts and breaks off
starts and breaks off

2
I know you, you know me
do not pretend that we do not

why you and I are tied together
as we are is not to be revoked
is not to be taken lightly

I have no wish to revoke
your importance in my life
or to replace you

you are queen of my life
you are my princess
do not desire, do not wish
to dethrone you
or to disown you

however much you do humiliate
or have humiliated me,
I am yours to misuse and to abuse

I know you will be merciful
I pray God that you will be
I'll suffer what I must until you are

I used to walk upon my father
when I was a small child
with small feet

I used to because of his Arthritis

we used to piss and spit,
shit and throw up upon our mothers
and not offend

similarly, you do not or should not
offend me with these acts
and if and when you do,
I am able, soon after, to pardon you

3
this love is as much a gift for me
as it is for you

what you are given, I am given too
tied together by it, by this
whatever this gift gives or takes away

in the name of love, what all
am I prepared to have torn from me

possessions, clothes, skin,
sins stripped away, whatever it takes
for love's sake, for closeness
for close-knit, for clothes knitted
to cover our nakedness
clothes crocheted
for this occasion or that

clothes to drop to the floor
when alone on a June evening
after 24 months of our relationship
what will we be then and how

time off from each other, to reflect
and to more deeply connect

the pope, newly crowned, looks down
into Basilica Square, upon the thousands
gathered there and he is humbled
as I am by this gift, by this opportunity
to know joy and sorrow for the sake of love

for knowing it, for knowing you
opportunity of opportunities
to open a heart, to open two
to see what, in addition
to blood, hearts contain


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2011
Written on Holy Saturday,
April 23, 2011 between
6:40 p.m. and 8:52 p.m.