Am I Me Am I Changed
for Ambassador Ned Siegel
& Katherine Gibson

can I go back
to who I was
to how I was
to where I was

5:14 p.m.
meeting with Ambassador Siegel
over now

weeks since it was planned
how I’d anticipated it

how should I look
what should I wear
what shirt, what pants

should I shave
should I trim my hair

have I worth sufficient
to present him with
to be presented to him

what of the fabric
of which I myself am made
what of my intellect

I wondered about being too shabby
about what was appropriate
to appear in

about what I’d say
words, ideas

what am I worth
I’d been wondering
sufficient for such a meeting or not

what of his knowing
or discovering
how hungry I am to succeed
for success

our meeting’s over now
our exchange of gifts
camera flashed, clicked

can I go back now, relax
take off all I’d put on
in preparation

go back to how I was
to where I was
to who I was

or is my life forever changed
must examine my hands
my face in a mirror

am I transformed
metamorphosed
into something antithetical
to Kafka’s spider


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2008
5:27 p.m. 22.04.08