Fist Full of Rubber Bands
for S.M.

she knows how to treat me
would satisfy me easily

don't know how this is, why this is
or how it came about

maybe it was easy
seeing how wrong her colleagues got it
how wrong they rubbed me

antipathy, animosity
aroused like dust rising

vehicles passing,
speeding by, speeding through

she waited, she'd wait
until the passage was rain-wet
until rain wet the dirt road

yet she'd take it easy
pass respectfully through
pass respectfully by

I'd want her to linger longer always
than she is able to

my arms about her
I'd want to hug her, to hold her
whenever, wherever I see her

our contact, our contract
so very pleasing,
so very pleasant
she has always been to me

discount books purchased
without a second thought

without my asking or being aware
of this offer or that this was possible

the other two in charge
almost always a hassle, a harsh word
pushing, pulling, hummin’ haulin’

with her it was smooth, a smile
or she'd giggle

I'd wonder about her tired eyes
care about why
she always seemed in need of rest

in love with her, to say the least
I had not expected to be

but her gestures disarmed me
made me notice her love for me

kind to me, in my corner
a towel, some water

would insist that I wash my mouth
that I spit it out

always seemed she cared
for what was best for me
best to me, a blessing to me

I could use a hug of hers this instant
has a husband and children
to be good to too

to prepare for school and work
to make breakfast for, to cook dinner for

I must admit, I have imagined
thrusting into her kindness
in appreciation

action to suggest
I was punishing her
having her cry out, as if complaining
as if in need of help,
as if needing to be rescued

but only from unbearable sweetness
only from lovemaking
only from a man
in love with a woman


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2009
11:08 a.m. 03.12.09