Bean Pods for 3 Women
for D.B.A., S.A. & Cynthia Sue Fisher
i.
unfaithful to my almost wife
claims she does not mind sharing me
makes it easier upon her conscience
my having to share her
at times therefore when I am unfaithful
I am without restraint
that smile shared with this other woman
with whom I am having an affair
allowed to go right through me
a moment of mutual melting
like cubes of sugar in hot tea
ah, to connect like that
affirmation of joy, of pleasure
able to produce
able to provide
what a second or two of intercourse
like I've not had in a long time
outside of the affair I am in
usually on line or over the phone
this was in person, eye contact
we connected, acknowledged it
confessed we love each other
confessed love for each other
and equally as much, an equal amount
that is what was so very pleasing
affirmation of the same amount
of something outpouring, being out poured
how like syrup, a lick of it, a drop of it
to sweeten times gone by- times to come
what can be bitter made better
ii.
membrane which separates
Maya and me, Maya from me
she on its other side, breathing air
breathing still, I in my world
where poems are made
making them still
as close to connecting,
to reconnecting- to reconnected
as numbers on my debit card
as information I could buy
her phone number, her e-mail account
her mailing address
membrane between her family
my family for a minute
have they lived all this time
with me left out, locked out
with me outside in whatever weather
have they cared if I lived or died
if I was living or dying
kept alive by tenacity,
other family members
accumulated over time
ages since we were together
since we were last together, since '77,
'78 concluded our correspondence
advised me
not to, any longer, try to find her
she was fine, she said
my seeking her, she said
was upsetting
to her mother
48 then, 80 now
what I've endured these 32 years
what has she gone through
been through, I wonder
iii.
girl if you smell me now, you'd leave me
my pajamas is way overdue for washing
silly, lazy me, wearing it still
I'd intended to wash it
day-before-yesterday and didn't
how unpleasant it smells
were you to hug me, hold me now
how repulsed I am certain you'd be
in my room the other afternoon
sitting in my metal, folding chair
watching part 3 of Calle 54
how did my room smell
of what did it smell
was it unpleasant
hint of smelly shoes, of unwashed socks
smell of plastic bag of garbage
hanging upon the knob
of my bathroom door, swinging open
I opened my bedroom's
two push up windows, to let fresh air in
did it make a difference, any at all
want to be for you, the best I can be
in every possible way
will you- can you love me as I am
want to love you as you are
embrace you as you are, hug you, kiss you
want you to be mine, want to be yours
any hope, any chance
iv.
so fat, stuffed in your outfits
dough with yeast
stretching, rising
as the sun rises- as the moon rises
as time passes- as earth spins
a fatter and a fatter girl
to put up with
kiss my teeth
not to have seen your pussy slim
not to be able to watch, to witness
your pussy grow- go out of shape
or grow more and more wonderful
want to see you, not clothes
or not just or not only clothes
want to see you as you are
as you see you, and more besides
bare back and thighs
bare hips and sides
Suzie hairy, head of hair
want to know you
not just the shoes, the clothes
you choose to wear
you resist this wish
this desire of mine, burning in me
with equal tenacity to the contrary
thought we were on one team
one side, in making art
in contributing to it, in sacrifices
I do not like writing in the dark
this handicap, this guessing game
lay eyes, lay hands
upon your pussy bare
with eyes, hands
able to touch you anywhere
without all the alarm
elicited when I, at present,
make the most innocent advance
suppose you have in mind
keep in mind
wish expressed
to ejaculate/to come in your hip
come in an opening/a passage
designed for going
come you'd have to fart or shit
to free yourself of
put off ejaculating into your being
where a new being would
commence singing, commence song
heart beating in a bean, germinating
bean vine eventually, full of leaves,
and beans in pods for Shelly
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2010
Written between 10:55 p.m., Friday, Oct. 15 and
4:42 p.m., Saturday, Oct.16, 2010
for D.B.A., S.A. & Cynthia Sue Fisher
i.
unfaithful to my almost wife
claims she does not mind sharing me
makes it easier upon her conscience
my having to share her
at times therefore when I am unfaithful
I am without restraint
that smile shared with this other woman
with whom I am having an affair
allowed to go right through me
a moment of mutual melting
like cubes of sugar in hot tea
ah, to connect like that
affirmation of joy, of pleasure
able to produce
able to provide
what a second or two of intercourse
like I've not had in a long time
outside of the affair I am in
usually on line or over the phone
this was in person, eye contact
we connected, acknowledged it
confessed we love each other
confessed love for each other
and equally as much, an equal amount
that is what was so very pleasing
affirmation of the same amount
of something outpouring, being out poured
how like syrup, a lick of it, a drop of it
to sweeten times gone by- times to come
what can be bitter made better
ii.
membrane which separates
Maya and me, Maya from me
she on its other side, breathing air
breathing still, I in my world
where poems are made
making them still
as close to connecting,
to reconnecting- to reconnected
as numbers on my debit card
as information I could buy
her phone number, her e-mail account
her mailing address
membrane between her family
my family for a minute
have they lived all this time
with me left out, locked out
with me outside in whatever weather
have they cared if I lived or died
if I was living or dying
kept alive by tenacity,
other family members
accumulated over time
ages since we were together
since we were last together, since '77,
'78 concluded our correspondence
advised me
not to, any longer, try to find her
she was fine, she said
my seeking her, she said
was upsetting
to her mother
48 then, 80 now
what I've endured these 32 years
what has she gone through
been through, I wonder
iii.
girl if you smell me now, you'd leave me
my pajamas is way overdue for washing
silly, lazy me, wearing it still
I'd intended to wash it
day-before-yesterday and didn't
how unpleasant it smells
were you to hug me, hold me now
how repulsed I am certain you'd be
in my room the other afternoon
sitting in my metal, folding chair
watching part 3 of Calle 54
how did my room smell
of what did it smell
was it unpleasant
hint of smelly shoes, of unwashed socks
smell of plastic bag of garbage
hanging upon the knob
of my bathroom door, swinging open
I opened my bedroom's
two push up windows, to let fresh air in
did it make a difference, any at all
want to be for you, the best I can be
in every possible way
will you- can you love me as I am
want to love you as you are
embrace you as you are, hug you, kiss you
want you to be mine, want to be yours
any hope, any chance
iv.
so fat, stuffed in your outfits
dough with yeast
stretching, rising
as the sun rises- as the moon rises
as time passes- as earth spins
a fatter and a fatter girl
to put up with
kiss my teeth
not to have seen your pussy slim
not to be able to watch, to witness
your pussy grow- go out of shape
or grow more and more wonderful
want to see you, not clothes
or not just or not only clothes
want to see you as you are
as you see you, and more besides
bare back and thighs
bare hips and sides
Suzie hairy, head of hair
want to know you
not just the shoes, the clothes
you choose to wear
you resist this wish
this desire of mine, burning in me
with equal tenacity to the contrary
thought we were on one team
one side, in making art
in contributing to it, in sacrifices
I do not like writing in the dark
this handicap, this guessing game
lay eyes, lay hands
upon your pussy bare
with eyes, hands
able to touch you anywhere
without all the alarm
elicited when I, at present,
make the most innocent advance
suppose you have in mind
keep in mind
wish expressed
to ejaculate/to come in your hip
come in an opening/a passage
designed for going
come you'd have to fart or shit
to free yourself of
put off ejaculating into your being
where a new being would
commence singing, commence song
heart beating in a bean, germinating
bean vine eventually, full of leaves,
and beans in pods for Shelly
© Obediah Michael Smith, 2010
Written between 10:55 p.m., Friday, Oct. 15 and
4:42 p.m., Saturday, Oct.16, 2010
posted by Obie Quiet at 7:52 PM
3 Comments:
The title and the ending are nicely tied and absolutely skillful.
As for the rest I am at a lost for words...
Of you, I'd dare say anything, wouldn't I? Does it frighten you? Does it leave you or render you timid, my being so bold? It is usually your role- your choice to intimidate. Are you made, by such language, by such poems, to back down, when the shoe is usually upon the other foot, my darling?
Nice peom.
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