Tightly Balled Fists & Kisses
for D.B.A.

that nebulous place / station in the sky
to which we're attached,
to which we're hooked up

I focused more upon our possible-
upon our inevitable, physical hook up

it is our minds that are blended
how emotional are our break-ups- our make-ups

makeup she puts on for a photo shoot:
eyeshadow, eyebrows, penciled on
layer of powder she covers her face with

lipstick in place and a wig complete
her slight alteration, slight transformation
to face the camera, to face the world

fists we face each other with, at times,
tightly balled

at times, her wish is to throw me a bone
allow a little time, but a little closeness

there is a limit to insults, abuses
to being shortchanged,
beyond that limit, I do not entertain

reserve the right as she does,
to say, fuck it or I'd say to myself, "Fuck her!"
as she'd say to me when she chooses,
"Fuck you!" and mean it

both mean, we'd both mean it for a time-
until we soften -
needing to embrace and to be embraced

we both know as well how to be soft
as we know well how to be harsh
when patience is lost

do to and do for each other what is inspired
deepening and widening relationship
with each other and with life simultaneously

today is the day she goes to church
when she is in another world

late in the evening
I might hear my phone ring: allowed what's left
I'd not know if to spit or to lap it up
left over love

without end
have to go out of my way-
it takes effort to be unfaithful to her

oh those affairs many persons are in
with someone married to someone else

having to sweetheart- being sweethearts
until the end

in the end, without rights to the body
without rights to make funeral arrangements

like Charlie Parker and Chan,
white American mother of his daughter, Pree
born in 1952 and died in 1954, not yet 3

what will become of Dee and me
will there be regrets
how far will we go- how far will we get


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2012
7:48 a.m. 05.08.12