Way Ahead
Way Behind
for D.B.A.

life for me is constantly shifting
or is a constant shifting
between feeling that I am
way ahead or that I am way behind

I can, because of pride, suggest
that it does not matter
having you or not having you

but it matters actually, so very much
when you are thrown into my arms
or when you throw yourself
into my arms, I'd feel so very far ahead

when you withdraw or are withdrawn
again I'd feel way, way behind
as if in life I'd achieved so little

added to or subtracted from
when you and I are added together
or when you and I are taken apart

this miracle of our relationship
when it is occurring or when it isn't
when we are engaged or when we are not

affects me as deeply as life and death
as breath and the lack of it
as heartbeat and when
this beating, booming stops

no denying how deeply you affect me
the impact, this simple equation

gauge tells me where I stand
where we stand, where I am and you are

whether we're together or apart
when I am feeling way ahead or way behind

like a loser or a failure
or like one of the most accomplished
most well rewarded artists
who ever was, who ever lived


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2010
7:18 p.m. 29.11.10