April Fourteenth
for D.B.A., A.G.P.
& GG Arthur Foulkes

i.
I know she is with me
without hearing from her

to know she is loyal, committed
and not to someone else or elsewhere

to know where her heart is
this gift, this favor of love,
this reassurance,
this mysterious occurrence

while she is elsewhere
unable to be with me, unable to see me

in fact, in school, in class
with classmates,
with teachers in high school

child to them
or a young woman in uniform

to me, a woman fully
woman of and for my soul

only woman this man has
she is loyal, faithful to that
aware of that, well aware
that I am all her own

in her poem, “le mien”
she does assert,
in my mind
you're mine
all mine

no one else to clean my cat box
provide me milk, treats
food to eat, place to sleep

our love though
like the Lord,
who watches over Israel,
slumbers not nor sleeps

ii.
wife to be or not to be
and I, after all, are not to be

she has, this day, abandoned me
I've asked her please, to say,
to explain, upon what grounds

thought by some miracle
we could have
maintained attachment

in spite of my being
helplessly, hopelessly
in love with
another little darling

what will become
of affair number one now

she was, after all,
dissatisfied being number two
with plans to marry

was that a contradiction
or what

she’s decided to relinquish
this sliver of attachment
all together

iii.
how can you smile
with a black face like that

some will ask, some will wonder
should you not be sad
should you not be mad
at your creator

shoe polish-black face
you adorn with a smile

how could you be happy
what could you be happy about
in such a predicament

iv.
area there, waist to the ground

in all the world
among all the woman there are
not at all easy to surpass
how wonderfully she is made

how well are her jeans made
manufactured just for her
to fit, to outfit, to veil and to reveal

foolish the things I said
about myself, my poetry

promoting mine,
putting Pintard's down

let down to know
she knew of him, of his work
and not a word of mine

studied Still Standing in school
for BJC, just hearing of me
of my verse now

desires that I give her one
a book free

I could, I would
pretty as she is
I didn't for some reason

lost Nenette today
she's left me officially

so very happy
to be served again

by this same shoe store clerk
from a few weeks ago

could buy a dozen pairs
to be with her
to interact with her
to look at her in jeans
she complements
with dance shoes

would she dance with me
I wonder

to what music
across what dance floor

v.
white whit white
just out of the deep freeze

step off the bus
into the tropics

here to thaw out
to soak up some sun

vi.
I sat there and she sat there
opposite each other
at that table there

could go sit there
chair where I sat
when we were together last

I can now
lady at that table
and the lady with her have left

just their plates and cups
and napkins left behind

I have my butt
in this here chair

morning of my birthday
recently
of my recent birthday
able to rush back

this same perspective
able to see
who comes up the stairs
and who descends

remember when
she herself ascended
I was on my feet
awaiting her

I was too elated
and so relieved
when she appeared

she was happy as I was
or almost

as elegant as could be
seductive as she is naturally

silly me, intoxicated easily
by her essence
we together here
an hour of more

every moment, intense joy
got carried away a time or two

touched her here, there
pushed back her hair
to see great silver butterfly
hanging from her ear

to see a mark some incident
left upon her face

I was so full
of so many small concerns

emotions which
only being in love can stir

in this chair, at this table
all alone but not alone

she has a way
of projecting her presence
presenting herself in her absence

so that I need not ever
feel alone or be alone

vii.
unable to get her out of my teeth
or out of my hair

what an entanglement
when I am supposed to be
tied to another woman

tying the knot
in a minute or two
in a matter of months

I've had the mumps,
I've had the flu

this though is worse
than those temporary,
skin-deep afflictions

this that I have
goes past the bone
gets into the bone marrow

this to last until tomorrow
and after tomorrow

this to reverse sorrow
this the exact opposite of lack

how filled I am always
over flowing poems

viii.
der lovers part
mussie all do up

mussie only frien’ship
left to us now

need you to befriend me
to defend me
even against the lovers
we, until so very recently,
were

I get t’row down t’row up
do down, do up

I sufferin’
cus what lovers do
what lovers decide

who will defend and how
the lovers we were
until yesterday

officially, you call it off
you say it finish

I lovin’ someone else
somewhere else

following my heart
how ever futile
where it leads

made poems, some gems
affair inspired

have those at least
to celebrate, to indicate
time I’ve lived through


© Obediah Michael Smith, 2010
Written on Wednesday, April 14, 2010
between 9:55 a.m. and 11:36 p.m.